Maria Bowden

Oliver's Story

Thursday 29th Feb Oliver Corey Bowden.  My first child.  The first time I held a baby and instantly fell in love.  He made a slightly early entrance into the world in a week of stress and emotional chaos.  When I was 20 weeks pregnant, we were told that he was not developing properly.  They didn't really know what was going on since it was hard to tell with ultrasounds.  There was something wrong with his urinary system and possibly his GI tract but they couldn't be sure.  What followed was 16 weeks of extra ultrasounds (gradually increasing in frequency) at women's hospital, an MRI at children's hospital and meetings with various specialists and Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors.  They were still not sure what was going on.  When I was 35 weeks pregnant, we were at 2 ultrasounds a week and told that he was running out of amniotic fluid and they wanted him to come out ASAP because if he ran out, he could be stillborn.  That was a Friday.  They were going to double check the levels on Monday but he would probably be here within a week.  On Monday they said that the levels had dropped again and they wanted him out.  They said they would call the next day.  On Tuesday, we were told there wasn't any room for him in the Children's Hospital NICU and we had to wait; they would call tomorrow.  On Wednesday they said there still wasn't room but they would have room on Thursday and I could come get checked in or wait till Thursday morning to get checked in.  We went on Wednesday night, just to be close to the hospital.  Just in case.  We were scared.  

Thursday he came via C section so he wouldn't rupture his umbilical cord (he had a distended belly due to his urinary system).  He came into the world with a wild cry that filled my soul and my heart.  I got to hold him for a few minutes before he and Caleb were taken to BCCH NICU.  I went to recovery for 4 hours.

They next day, Oliver went for tests so they could confirm what was going on.  He was born with bilateral duplux kidneys and a posterior urethral valve.  He would have surgery for the extra valve the following day.  His kidneys basically filtered everything out of his body.  It was very hard for him to gain weight but he fought hard.  He would power through his large amounts of food we gave him and let the nurses and doctors poke and care for him with little fuss.  He often had blood take multiple times a day till a doctor said it was not necessary and he was not a pin cushion.  He loved his food.  The look of focus on his face when he would get a bottle in his mouth was amazing.  Eventually he did so well that they moved us out of the NICU (we were in the dragonfly unit) and into a ward upstairs (Racoon unit).  He was finally not attached to walls for constant monitoring and we could pick him up whenever we wanted with no extra nurses to help with cords.  We could take him for walks around the hospital and the grounds outside.  One day, when I went for a coffee downstairs with my mom and Caleb was resting on the couch in our room (every room had a pull out couch that Caleb and I would sleep on.  We never went home) my dad took Oliver on a walk down the hall.  The hallway had these huge floor to ceiling windows that looked out to the mountains, it was a beautiful view.  When I got back upstairs, Caleb was asleep and Oliver was gone.  I worried for a minute and woke up Caleb.  My dad walks in carrying my little boy in his arms telling him stories of mountains and the beauties of the world.  It was a moment that I will never forget.  My dad was unapologetic for the adventure, which made my heart warm.

When Oliver was 16 days old he was doing so well that we were told we could take him home if we wanted.  He would still need to come back for a meeting about a G-tube (he was leaving with an NG tube in his nose) but we could take him home.  So we did.  We went home and snuggled him in the rocking chair and blanket my grandma made him, gave him a bath and tucked him into his own bed in our room.  

That night was a night from hell and I won't talk about it here.  We ended up back at Children's Hospital in the morning when he was 17 days old and he died in the ER.  He passed away from sepsis.  It was aggressive and nothing could have stopped it.  He was a beautiful little boy who brought so much light into our world and left a huge hole behind that will never be filled again because it will always be his.  He left me with stories and pictures and love.  He was my first baby.  My first little love.  Share